Do you ever get that feeling, deep in the pit of your stomach, like an octopus is having a fight with some fearsome-looking deep-ocean creature? I have that feeling now. I think it is called “uncertainty”.

Now back from my little holiday, far away from cell phones, computers, email, text msg. Even though I knew I was out of cell range I checked every day, just in case there was a msg from her. It was a strange holiday. Beautiful ocean inlets, remote camping, swimming in secluded bays. But I kept thinking about you, how much I would give to be able to share all that with you.

You call me silly, I call myself stupid. I seem to have found what I have spent a lifetime looking for, but now I can do nothing about it, except enjoy and savour the exquisite moments which we can share.

I still harbour this feeling, in the pit of my stomach, some fear that I will wake up and you will be an illusion. My logical brain tells me to not be so silly, my emotive brain is less certain of itself.

My new philosophy is “savour the moment”, I keep reminding myself of that. So I will savour every moment we have. And hope that the moments will keep arriving for eternity.

You are so beautiful.